Star Wars The Last Jedi, Aftermath of the bonds
by alanaweir58
Summary: 'I feel it again. The tugging. The pulling at my mind. It's as if I am momentarily taken away from reality. This time I allow it to happen. I don't have to turn around to know he's there. His presence lingers constantly like a shadow trailing behind me. Neither of us speak.' This is about the aftermath of the last jedi. What happens to Rey and Kylo and their powerful bond. reylo!


**this is my first time writing fan fiction. I had to write this after seeing Star Wars The Last Jedi! I've always been a reylo fan so here's my contribution. I hope you enjoy it!**

 **Rey's P.O.V**

I feel it again. The tugging. The pulling at my mind. It's as if I am momentarily taken away from reality. This time I allow it to happen. I don't have to turn around to know he's there. His presence lingers constantly like a shadow trailing behind me.

Neither of us speak. Silence drifts peacefully through the room. Only the quiet exhale of breath can be heard.

I stare at the floor beneath me. The darkness of the room is interrupted by hazy light shining in past the blinds that dangle lifelessly on the small window. I haven't opened them in months. The shadow of darkness seems to be the only thing that can calm my thoughts.

I can feel the bond between us soothing the aching pain in my chest. The same pain that has stayed with me ever since I closed the door on him, shutting him out for what I then hoped was for good.

Despite the long time it has been, the familiarity of it hasn't changed. The loneliness that plagues us both vanishes.

"Why now." His voice was stern and cold. I tilt my head to look at him. He sits with his back to me on the edge of my bed. His head hangs from his body wearily. I don't answer him. I can't bare to.

"How long has it been?" He asks. I can see him fighting against the urge to look over at me. There's so much agony in his voice. He tries to hide it underneath anger and hate. I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. Again I remain silent.

"How long, Rey?" He asks once more his voice growling. "How long have you blocked me out?" He pushes himself up off of the bed, reluctantly turning around to face me. I can feel the aggression in his movements without even seeing them. I keep my back to him. If I see his face and how broken he is... I can't.

"Say it." I can feel his eyes on my back. His stare weakens my defence. It weakens my hate for him. It weakens me.

My chest tightens. I try to take some shaky breaths to calm myself but it's no use. Tears slowly fall from my burning face. I wipe them away as fast as they fall. I don't want him to see me cry. I don't want him to know how broken I've become.

Finally my hollow voice replies. "Months."

"How many months?" He grows angrier, his voice ripping through the silence of the room. I don't even need to count. I know how many.

"Six." My voice grows shakier.

His heavy footsteps echo on the tiled floor as he slowly walks over to me. After a time he speaks again.

"You left me." He finally says. His tone is softer now but such sorrow and sadness spills from each word. He walks closer. "You abandoned me." The footsteps come to a firm stop. "For **_them_** _._ "

He's at the corner of my bed looking at me. Scanning for my reaction. All I can do is heave and cry, I cannot push it back any longer. His words eat away at me like acid.

"I…I didn't want to." Each word hurts to say. I close my eyes again fading into darkness.

His hand, concealed in a black leather glove, reaches out to me. Fire and ash fall around us. The destruction of the room smells of smoke and sweat. Bodies lay scattered across the floor. The two of us stand in the middle of the room, face to face. The fleet is all that occupies my mind. I'm slowly growing frantic.

His eyes look into mine. His sad gaze buries itself deep inside me, the calmness that occupied them had now vanished. I look away. Warm tears spill from my eyes. I close them for a moment as I try to make sense out of what is happening. Finally my eyes glide up to his outstretched hand. My head blurs. My eyes follow his muscular arm up to his shoulder where they stop. They're then drawn to the jagged scar that emerges from his black robes. His matted black hair hides most of it from my view. Through the tears my eyes trace over ever inch of it. Up along his firm jaw, over his right cheek and over just above his brow where it fades off into his pale skin. I look into his eyes once again and I feel it in my chest. Desperation. The longer I wait the more it grows inside him.

"Please."

The sincerity in his voice stabs at the aching in my chest. I feel as though I am on fire, burning alive from the inside out. 'No. No please don't do this' I plead in my head hoping he will hear me. Sorrow tears my chest apart and the memory I've suppressed for so long fades into darkness once again.

I can feel his body tighten and become defensive. He moves uncomfortably, shifting his stance to look away. His jaw clenches as his eyes close firmly shut for a moment, gritting his teeth hard as he does so. It's as if he's trying to gather himself again.

"Don't." He says sharply. "Don't do that again." He refuses to look at me when I lift my head up. I try to find his eyes but his head hangs too low for me to meet them.

"I've relived that enough." His harsh voice hangs in the dead silence. "I don't need you to make me relive it again." It's calmer now, as if he's suppressing his begrudged anger.

I stand up from the bed. My head spins with the flooding of powerful emotions. Anger and sadness, hurt and pain, love and hate. Too much for my fragile body to feel all at once. My heavy breathing is all that can be heard now.

I turn to find his gaze on me. I see his face for the first time in months. It is sunken and tired as if it's being eaten away by his inner turmoil. His frame, though tall, seems somewhat smaller now as if he has lost some of his hard muscle. His avoids my stare as I take all of him in. Underneath his heavy eyes are different shades of dark purple that glisten in the dim light. It looks as thought he has not slept in weeks.

I can hear him most nights when he tries to rest. I can hear his thoughts as he lays awake and alone, as he struggles to close his heavy eyes. I can hear the screams and the torment he hears. And I can see it tearing at his soul bit by bit. He is in immense pain and I am the cause of most of it. The thought of that kills me.

The bond between us hasn't weakened in the slightest. I could feel him reaching out nearly everyday at the start, sometimes on purpose and sometimes by accident. After the first three months passed without an answer from me, it happened less often. I would hear his soft voice calling out for me but he was only met by rejections and silence. There were times when he would stay, sitting silently for hours, despite being shut out. He does it when he sleeps a lot. I don't think he knows he does. His screams are muffled but still so loud, permeated with agony. I can feel them galaxies away. It's the screams that bring me to him. I go and I wait unbeknownst to him. I lay beside him, sometimes touching his hand or rubbing his hair, and other times never even looking at him. I'm there until the screams stop, until he is calm once again, then I leave without a trace. Since the death of Snoke the bond has it has only flourished to both of our disappointment.

"Why now?" He asks me again interrupting my thoughts as if he too could hear them. His eyes shoot up to meet mine. They were flooded with resentment and suffering.

 **General P.O.V**

He can feel her pain. He could feel it the moment the bond pulled at him. He didn't refuse it nor did he fight it. He let it take him to her. Now for the first time in months he stands just feet away from her. It hurts him to see such a vibrant and strong person being crushed to nothingness by this...by all this pain and devastation. Pain and devastation he has caused her. He wants nothing more than to reach out and hold her. Hold her close to his chest. Maybe the pain will stop then, if they just held each other.

Soon indignation returns to his body, drowning out his understanding and empathy for her. It's been months. Endless months of him trying to reach out to her only to be cut off. He was aching. Without her he was slowly being corrupted by his thoughts, devoured by them. Without her light he was smothered by the darkness. He had needed her and she left him. Now that she needed him, why should he help her? Why should he help the girl that betrayed him after he offered everything to her?

Something deep within him answered his question, putting the frustration and resentment to rest. His mind was calm when she was near. The heavy headaches eased and he could finally breathe clearly with no guilt pressing down on his chest. Despite his best efforts he would never be able leave her when she needed him. No matter how much it killed him.

 **Rey's P.O.V**

"I need you." I finally answer. "I didn't think it would hurt this much without you." I take a step closer to him. Animosity bubbles in the pit of my stomach.

"I didn't want to leave you. You made me." My teeth grit together as I stop to take a sharp breath.

"You were going to leave them to _die_." The pain from the memory flushes through my body once again.

 _"_ My **_Friends_**."

He scoffs angrily as his face twists with disgust. "How would your _friends_ feel if they knew about us. If they knew about this. For rebel scum they don't seem to have a shred of empathy for anyone." He took a step forward. "Believing that they'd understand is foolish, even for you." I can feel my face warping with rage at his words.

"They're my friends of course they would understand." I spit at him but there's a sense of uncertainty in my voice.

My mind takes me back to Ahch-to in the cold stone hut. Lightning and rain rage outside but it all seems to fade away when our fingers gravitate towards each other and touch. Luke's angry yet frightened shouts echo around my head now. As the stone hut explodes to rubble so does the memory. But this time Kylo stays.

My glare melts as the realisation strikes me. He's right and he knows it. He allows me this silence to accept it. The hatred The Resistance bares Kylo is irreversible. Even Finn hates him. The mention of his name boils his blood, he would never understand. No one would.

"I can't keep doing this." I say, defeated.

"Neither can I." He replies. I look up at him again. His face is soft and caring, something I have not seen in a long time. It's the side of him I long for.

"Ben." I call, my voice quivering. He knows what to do. Instinctively he walk towards me. He does not hesitate. He grabs my small body tight and holds me. As our bodies meet I feel suddenly weightless, the pain in my chest gone. I feel a tingling relief. I know he can feel it too, because of this he holds me tighter. I nestle into the crook of his muscular arms just as his head buries into the side of me neck.

I can feel a tear escape from his eye onto my shoulder. We stand in the embrace for a long time. It feels like forever. I've stopped crying. I don't want to let go of him. My thin arms wrap around him holding him tighter.

 **Kylo's P.O.V**

I hear that name. It strikes something inside me. The sound of it once sparked an outburst of raw anger but hearing her say it now, it soothes the pain.

I see her. She's about to fall apart. Her cheeks are glossy with tears and her eyes red. I go to her. My body moves before my mind tells it to. Before I know it she's in my arms. I hold her tightly, tight enough to hold her together, to stop her from falling apart and shattering.

As soon as I touch her all the pain stops. I feel renewed. A sense of enlightenment. A weightless feeling. I feel a strong relief. Because of this I hold her closer to my chest.

As her sobs soften I realise that I have never held her before now. Her small head rests further into the side of my arm. I stroke her soft brown hair lightly. I lower my head into the crook of her neck deepening the embrace.

All of a sudden a new feeling replaces the pain in my chest. A feeling of longing. Of wanting to never leave her, to never part from her touch, to never let her go. This new feeling breaks my broken and beaten heart even further. A tear slips past my eye and onto her shoulder.

I loosen my arms as she looks up at me. Her teary hazel eyes lock with mine. They're so bright, even in the darkness they glow. With my thumb I wipe away a tear before it can run down her cheek. I hold her face. Her delicate face. It's so soft and warm under my touch.

A wave comes over me, sending a shiver up my spine and flipping my stomach.

It happens so fast.

Her hand glides softly over mine. She places it lightly over my own, holding me and I hold her.

We reach for one another at the same time. I pull her into me. My lips brushing off of hers, asking in a way for her permission. Her head moves closer. Our lips touch sending vibrations through out our whole bodies. She places her hand behind my neck inviting me to kiss her harder. Passion overtakes all sense as we hold one another tighter unable to get enough.

I cannot resist her, I want more. My heart beats rapidly against my chest. Everything seems to fall away leaving just us.

At first it was slow and soft, comforting in ways words would never be. My hand rests below her ear, my thumb caressing her cheek as our breaths mingled. Her fingers run down my spine pulling me even closer until there was no space left between us. I can feel her heart beat faster the rougher we kiss.

My breath begins to shake as the arousal sends a throbbing urge between my legs. I can feel myself growing harder the more we kiss. She tastes so sweet, it's addictive.

I can't take it anymore. I grab her, lifting her onto the bed. I hover over her, our lips never parting. My hand slides under the dip in her back pulling her closer as the kiss progresses. I've never seen her like this before, overcome with this raw lust. It's exhilarating.

Something is slowly taking over me as I press her against me. My grip on her tightens and tightens. I break the kiss to as I suckle down along her neck leaving faded pink bruises behind me. She moans quietly as I do so, tugging at my robes. When I return to kiss her I see something in her eyes. I see a dark shine to them as she pulls my black robe over my head, throwing it to the floor. She then kisses me harder. Something is slowly taking over me as I press into her with more force. Something I have not felt in a long time. Fear starts to replace the lust. I break away from her.

I take a few steps back from the bed where she lays panting and confused. I'm breathing heavily, my lungs screaming for more air. I run my hand against my forehead and through my hair as I try to calm myself.

After a few seconds in return to the bed, it's white covers now tussled. I sit down on the edge right beside her, my breath still ragged. She stares at me, wondering what came over us both.

"I'm sorry." I say, refusing to look into her innocent eyes. The connection quivers for a moment as I scald myself for my actions. She can feel it too.

I get up to leave but her silky touch on my skin silences my actions. She pulls my face to look at hers. Our foreheads rest together as we simply breathe.

"You have no reason to be." She pulls me down with her as we lay in the bed together in silence. Neither of us speak about what came over us. Neither of us speak about how right it felt. My head rests on her chest, listening to the thump of her restless heart. My arms are wrapped around her waist as she strokes my hair. For the first time in what seems to be forever I drift into a quiet and calm sleep, her warmth keeping me safe from my own thoughts.

 **Rey's P.O.V**

The weight of his head and touch fills me with warmth, enough to numb the pain. Here in this very room, in the darkness, intertwined with one another, we are at peace together.


End file.
